Friday, October 19, 2012

Seven Quick Takes: Lesser-Known Developmental Milestones Edition

These aren't in any baby books that I'm aware of, but they are important nonetheless! Now most milestone lists will give you an estimate of when each should be achieved by your little genius, but I really don't know when to expect these accomplishments. I think I can safely say: not in the first 11 months.

1. Ability to lick one's own lips to remove wayward food instead of needing someone to scrape it off with a spoon.

2. Ability to nurse without fiddling with... something. You nursing mamas know what I mean.

3. Ability to touch something without compulsively sinking one's fingers in like a hawk's talons into a mouse. This habit can be annoying (your peanut butter sandwich), painful (your face), or dangerous (a bowl of piping hot oatmeal).

4. Ability to suppress insatiable desire to shove all paper products within reach directly into one's mouth.

5. Ability to estimate the distance to the edge of the bed when sitting up with one's back to it, so that he does not gracefully twist from a crawling position to a sitting position only to land flat on his back on the floor because he accidentally sat with half his hiney hanging off the bed.

6. Ability to understand that, "Mama will be right back! Mama is going to the bathroom now because she's been waaaaaaaiting for you to stop nursing and now she's about to die! But she will be very quick! SHE WILL BE RIGHT BACK I PROMISE," does not mean the same as, "Ha ha! Mama is leaving and despite that fact that she has returned quickly every single other time, THIS TIME SHE'S OUTTA HERE FOR GOOD!"

7. Ability to suppress desire to bang on keyboard from one's mother's lap while she attempts to bloaehgkjaglakpew ag   earalrgoahg hjjjkvg;pa

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

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